Modern approach towards dating. Opinion of our member*.
The vow "Until Death Do Us Part" tore me apart at weddings. I don't know if there is anything more sublime than finally finding the person we will share the rest of our lives with. But those days are dying.
I'm speaking from a foreigner's perspective. Growing up in China, a country with thousands of years of traditional values, people don't have fun when it comes to marriage. Although the increasing exposure to Western culture has liberated many sexual repressions, the core Asian belief still revolves around monogamy.
However, this is not a popular theme among American singles. Often, we even don't care. With the birth of dating apps, the hookup culture has evolved to a whole new level. No one has the patience or the ability to deal with loneliness anymore.
Why is that?
You mean like unexpectedly meeting a stranger at a train stop and starting an routine conversation, then suddenly realizing that you have matching hobbies and it instanly makes the regular meeting something more than a friendship? Yeah, good luck with that movie script.
Don't you feel that there is something missing here?
“Promiscuity is like never reading beyond the first page. Monogamy is like reading the same book over and over again".
We love the freedom to have no strings attached. Keeping our options open while surrounded with multiple partners at the same time. Physically and emotionally.
What meaning does it have?
It only means that we supress our feelings every time we leave someone to whom we have given our bodies and a piece of our heart. Do you know what this reminds me of? Dogs. They bump and bounce. My chihuahua mom doesn't know or care about the male she fathered her babies with.
"Having fun" is a huge component of dating in America. No problem with that. Except that people neglect the emotional aspect, prioritizing pleasure over love. Nowhere in the world is bodybuilding so prevalent as in America. The guys hit the gym trying to look like Rambo.
Treadmills are always packed with single girls. Everyone tries to appear sexually desirable. This is what we believe others want from us, which means it is also what we want from others - physical beauty.
Therefore, I am not surprised with the fact that so many people divorce on a daily basis. I don't wonder why we change partners like we change socks. This results from the pursuit of short-term satisfaction instead of a steady commitment.
Hearing the overwhelming number of sex partners and dating from my friends reminds me why true love seems like just a myth nowadays. This volume shows how little importance we place on sex and dating. One night stands. Meet for a week, two days. No memory left of who we met. Fuck several partners at the same time. Threesomes. Orgies. Whores. And no one seems to be bothered by this. Why is that?
How do you find the “one” when approaching potential partners like picking out clothes in the mall? If we don't treat romance with the respect it deserves, who can we blame for our repeated failures in relationships?
Thousands of movies, books, blogs, and TV shows like American Pie and Archer normalize the hookup phenomenon. Our idea of "fun" is often vulgar and irresponsible. Sadly, this kind of mentality prevails among people younger generation - it robs them of innocence and the chance to live deep and long-lasting relationships.
You probably don't see how strange all of this is. It is very good. We are used to the things we are most exposed to. All I'm saying is, there is nothing wrong with being sensitive.
It's okay to be emotional. Love is the reason we live.
The faster love comes, the faster it goes.
Genuine relationships take time to develop, but no one has time for it anymore. Everyone is chasing quantity. Of course, we have to cross paths with different people to find out who we are and what we want, especially at a young age. It helps us to grow. The problem, however, is that we are treating it like a race.
We allow strangers in our lives. Try someone. If that doesn't work, move on. No problem with that.
In reality, we avoid the risk of suffering and commitment. Quality partners require a ton of patience. The right person doesn't just relentlessly throw darts at the board and hope one of them hits the target.
Timing is everything. We could easily miss a worthy relationship by spending our time with a poor relationship. Instead, opening up our availability allows us to stay prepared for the best opportunity when it arrives.
Why do we treat something so beautiful and so sacred with such an indifferent and playful attitude? It should be fun, yeah. But why get rid of all the traditional values?
They exist to provide us with the foundation of love. It’s not about being conservative. It's about maintaining a level of elegance and authenticity.
Don't be afraid of commitment. Afraid of wasting your time with the wrong people.
